Overcoming the Ego: 8 Crippling Manifestations
4/17/2016Transcend your ego…the ego is an illusion…
Many of us would, if we knew what on earth the ego was. Indeed it’s
complex—trying to understand the totality of the human psyche. Plato and Aristotle divided it into three parts; so did Freud with the id, ego, and super-ego.
Modern psychologists describe the ego as the inner-narrator of
our self-consciousness; umpiring our thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Its judgements produce inner-conflict, and creates identity crises for
many. It’s the part of our mind that’s impulsive rather than logical,
visceral rather than reasonable. When we argue with ourselves, we’re
having a conflict with our ego.
Understanding the different ways the ego operates leads to overcoming it. Here are 8 manifestations:
1. Materialism
The Vedics called it Ahaṃkāra; tying your self-worth together with objects—a car, a house, a piece of jewelry. Ahaṃ refers to the Self; kāra is “any created thing.” When an object has more than a subtle ability to make you feel better or worse, you’re caught in Ahaṃkāra, of ego-attachment.
Advertisers exploit the ego and make us believe we’ll feel better buying their product. Ironically, it’s low self-esteem that increases materialism. But it’s reversible; increasing self-esteem
through highlighting our immaterial qualities–our sense of humor, our
drive, and passion, breaks the ego’s materialistic bondage.
Find your value and identity apart from external objects, things that cannot be taken away from you.
2. Trapped in the Past
The ego can go from romanticizing or embellishing the past,
to haunting and trapping us in our past. When scars begin to heal, it
rips them open again; when working toward a great future, it whispers
that our best days are behind us.
Our egos are afraid of the unknown. Our past experiences—good or
bad—are familiar, and we’re comfortable with what’s familiar. It’s the
reason many stay in bad relationships.
Realize your past does not define you, nor will it dictate your
future. Although the ego’s intention may be to keep you safe—by being
comfortable—the pull towards the past cripples what is being created in
the present, and for the future.
3. Inferiority Complex
The ego doesn’t just live next door to the Joneses, it mows their
lawn, for free. It constantly speaks the language of “not good enough.”
Any achievement is undermined, any accomplishment is mocked. Overcoming
the inferiority caused by ego means ceasing to play the comparison game, stepping away from the rat-race.
The ego dissolves when you run your own race, and step to the beat of
your own drum; with self-satisfaction in who you are today, and who you
will become tomorrow. When the ego keeps looking to others, simply keep
looking in the mirror.
4. Limitations and Scarcity
Our brain’s reticular activation system (RAS)
brings to attention what we subconsciously mark as important. If you’re
considering a new BMW, you’ll start noticing them everywhere.
The ego’s focus is one of limitation; it’s short sighted, and driven
by fear of running out. As a result our RAS sees everything in a limited sense: not only finances and food, but also happiness and healthy relationships.
The ego always see the glass half empty; and the cloud without the
silver lining. Our perceptions shape reality, if you focus on
limitations, you will surely experience them. Silence the ego, and
choose to see the world of abundant possibilities.
5. Self-Sabotage
As Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “‘Tis better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all.” The ego doesn’t think so. It’s more
concerned about keeping us in bubble-wrap rather than risk being hurt.
And so when anything seems to be headed in a good direction, the ego
plans and orchestrates irrational and destructive behavior, to avoid the ‘impending’ pain.
Whether it lasts a lifetime, or a week-long, we’re to enjoy and let
the love in every experience run its course. Never let a sad ending
overshadow an incredible experience.
6. The Stoic
The ego doesn’t like being naked—emotionally. It equates transparency and vulnerability with weakness,
so it puts up walls. But these walls truncate the full expression of
our human selves. Emotions are healthy, and should never be bottled up.
It causes us to live less than who we truly are.
To let fear, ridicule, and judgment block our unabashed emotions and beliefs is to hide behind the veil of ego.
7. Reacting Rather Than Responding
The ego is like an electric fence protecting a false identity—ready to react at any minute. Every comment is an insult,
and any advice is criticism. It’s not just wearing your heart on your
sleeve, it’s wearing your self-worth on your sleeve, and then picking a
fight.
The ego-free person is able to process before responding, to restrain
the visceral and make room for the reasonable, to think before acting.
Understand that personal attacks reflects more of their character than
yours; that should help our hyperactive-bodyguard ego to relax.
8. The Tyrant of Productivity
We’re workaholics because
the ego measures our value by what we achieve and produce. But there’s
profoundness in simply who we are as human beings; our lives are equally
complex, mysterious, beautiful, and fragile. We’re surrounded with
infinite galaxies, yet we’re a speck—but—a speck with the consciousness to process the infinite. We’re the nail that understands it’s part of a mansion.
But the ego lives in the rat-race and knows not reflection, awe, and
appreciation. To create is a amazing ability—but it’s a byproduct of our
amazing being. From being comes creating, not the other way around.
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