Erin On The Side of Caution: Wellbeing

7 Signs That You Are not Taking Care of Yourself

Taking care of yourself is not selfish. Instead, it is very important if you think that you have lost yourself lately.

With the age of technology that we live in, everything is within reach: shopping, travelling, socializing and working. It’s almost impossible to switch off from work thanks to the smartphone, iPad and mac… not that we aren’t grateful for them, wonderful pieces of technology connecting us to the world. But with all this global connectivity we can feel disconnected with ourselves.

When is it time to start practicing self-care? Below are seven signs that you need to switch off and start to taking care of yourself for a little bit.

Negative emotions

When we take care of ourselves, we are showing ourselves love and compassion and to others. But when we are overstretched, overworked and running on fumes, that’s when the cracks start to form and we start to lose it. The smallest thing becomes the biggest issue in the world.

How do we fix it? Recognize these symptoms? Don’t give yourself a hard time. Take a step back from it all. If that means having a long hot soak, a shower with your favorite products, taking a yoga class or a solo latte on the weekend. Do something first to unwind, and then put a plan together. Decide to not answer emails when you leave the office or speak to your manager about leaving on time.

Tardiness

Tardiness does not always mean disorganized. If you are trying to do too many things, something will inevitably suffer. Whilst its great to help out others or be busy, if you take on too much you will end up putting pressure on yourself when you don’t get it down and if you are always late your friends, will feel like they aren’t valued.

How do we fix it? You need to be firm and learn to say no to things that you won’t get done on time. Take on smaller projects that either isn’t constrained by time or can be done at leisure. That way you are still feeling as though you are doing something but you aren’t continually late.

Sleeping or lack of it

Finding it hard to nod off or stay asleep can be indicative of many things. Not being able to sleep is often stress related. If you are a sufferer of anxiety attacks your mind and body is trying to tell you that something is wrong and it needs fixing.

How do we fix it? Firstly go for a walk and leave your phone at home. When you are back from your walk, make a list of all the things that are bothering, no matter how big or small. Prioritize the things that you can either finish or fix first, and work out a plan on how to get started on the remaining points. They might be slow burners but at least you have it written down and take some pressure off your mind.

Doing nothing

It’s a great feeling when you have a lot on but you are completing tasks with ease and speed. It’s very easy to burn ourselves if this is a continual cycle. What’s the point in living life if you don’t know if you are enjoying it? You have to have some time to do nothing if it’s lazing on the sofas with your cats, or just going for a walk or just having a sneaky lie in, doing nothing occasionally is a good thing!

How do we fix it? If you think seriously to start taking care of yourself, make sure you weekly have some time to yourself, from going for a walk, a pedicure or just lazing t home on a Sunday.

When life feels it’s getting too much

The title speaks for itself but when you constantly are feeling overwhelmed its time to sit down and see what it is that is making you uncomfortable.

How do we fix it? To fix this it’s all about the why. You need to step back, sit down and ask yourself why are you feeling this way.

Not enough of anything

Cooking, exercising, sleeping, and reflecting are some of the key things that make us happy humans. When we aren’t getting enough of any of them, it’s time to start asking why. It might be impossible to do all of them, after all, we might have families, friends, hobbies that take up time, but if you aren’t doing any of them, it’s a sign you need to taking care of yourself more. These activities, when completed alone, are self-caring. They are nurturing our minds and bodies.

How do we fix it? You are going to have to be firm. You need to look at what is eating up your time and cut back on them. Once you start incorporating some cooking or exercise into your life, you will reap the benefits and never look back.

A day off

In today’s climate, we are made to feel like we can’t take a day off but do it. Take a day of self-love.

How do we fix it? Pick an activity that makes your heart soar. Whether it’s a yoga class, a day at the spa, or simply a day at home with your cats.

Practicing self-care is not a weakness, it’s an act of love. So, consider all the signs you just read and if you have recognized yourself in, start taking care of yourself NOW!

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In Attitude, Confidence

12 Things Mentally Strong People Avoid

1. Surrendering Their Power

Mentally strong people are well aware of their prowess to manage any situation by the way they respond. They know their strength is in knowing their weaknesses. They refuse to give away their power to fully control their actions and emotions.

2. Resisting Change

Change is a part of life and mentally strong people are well aware of this fact. So, instead of resisting change, they go with the flow and take this change as a challenge, a challenge to better them. They make their own opportunities and know how to make the best of every passing moment.

3. Being Hasty in Results

"Haste Makes Waste", a well-known proverb throughout the galaxy, is well acknowledged by mentally strong people. They implement it in their lives. They know, be it a workout plan or starting a business, nothing succeeds over a night. They recognize the fact that expecting immediate results is a task for lunatics. They plan out their work for the long run and celebrate each milestone on the way.

4. Feeling Superior Then Others

Mentally strong people realize the fact that they are not superior to anyone. This world does not owe them anything. They were born equal and will remain equal to others, no matter their heritage or bloodline. They know they`ll have to strive to survive in this world. And they`re prepared to tackle the difficulties and succeed on their merits at every turn of life.

5. Being Worried for Uncontrollable Matters

One thing, mentally strong people have a complete control on, is their attitude towards problems. You won`t see such people complaining about things that don`t matter or situations that are beyond their control, such as bad traffic or whether. Instead they concentrate their time and energy on projects that`ll affect their life in a positive way.

6. Being Worried of Their Image

Ever seen people who go out of their way to please others? Or people who do so just to irritate others? Both are self-centered people who care for nothing except their fake image on the world and people around them. Mentally strong people stay out of such practices. They know when to be kind and affectionate and when to stand up for what`s right.

7. Being Afraid of Time with Themselves

Mentally strong people enjoy good company of other people and also of themselves. They treasure their alone time and use it to reflect on their life choices and plan for a better and brighter future. They know how to benefit from their alone time by putting their efforts in something productive.

8. Being Afraid to Try Again

Some people are too afraid to try again; they just give up after failure. Such is not the case with mentally strong people. They know success and failure go hand in hand. Even the most successful people started from scratch and had to face failures before they got where they are now. Mentally strong people know that they`ll have to try, try again to succeed.

9. Being Jealous

Mentally weak people resent other peoples success. They become jealous and think of ways to turn their success into failure. While mentally strong people do the opposite. They, not only, feel genuinely happy and contended for the succeeding, but also take notes from their success and use them to shape their own path to success.

10. Being Afraid of Taking Risks

A mentally strong person knows his strengths and weaknesses. He knows risks are a must in the path to success. He also knows the extent of risks that he can take. He thoroughly weighs the negative effects of the risk against its benefits while fully assessing the potential outcomes, before taking a step.

11. Living in The Past

Mentally weak people tend to live in their past. They mourn over the past disappointments and how the times have changed. They want to live in the "splendor days" of the past. Mentally strong people, on the other hand, tend to learn from their past failures instead of indulging in them. They use this experience learned to improve their present and forge a better path for their future.

12. Repeating the Same Mistakes

"What is the definition of insanity? It`s doing the same exact thing again and again and expecting different results" ~Albert Einstein Mentally strong people take full responsibility of their past actions. It`s not like they don`t commit mistakes, they do. It`s about how they respond to their mistakes, their attitude towards them. They learn from their mistakes and incorporate this learning experience in their future decisions.

Maryam Nasrullah

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In Breathing, Exercise

Pilates - The Benefits

Have you been going to other exercise classes and want to try something different? Do you suffer from a bad back and need to find an answer? Read this article to find out about the 10 benefits of Pilates.

Benefits of Pilates 1: Pilates Creates a Strong Core
By careful training and precise control over the smaller muscles in the lower abdominal region and lower back region Pilates is able to improve your core stability. This can result in better control of the small spinal joints during movement of the spine and better control of the pelvis and hip regions. This can have many beneficial effects including improving pelvic stability, lower back pain reduction, better control of the bladder and stronger pelvic floor muscles.

Benefits of Pilates 2: Pilates improves relaxation
By slowing down movement to help improve core stability Pilates also has the effect of inducing a deeply relaxed state that can add to the euphoria attached to doing a well taught Pilates class. Classes are often small and no more than 5/6 people with a slow tempo and a relaxed atmosphere adding to the relaxation process during the class.

Benefits of Pilates 3: Improve your Posture with Pilates
It has been demonstrated and recommended for a long time by health care practitioners that Pilates benefits your overall feeling of well-being but also can help in most cases to improve your posture. Pilates is often recommended by our experts to help improve overall posture and reduce muscle imbalance. The type of Pilates that we recommend needs to be precise and guided by fully qualified practitioners who have valuable years of experience and understand or work very closely with therapists to understand the workings of the human body.

Benefits of Pilates 4: Improve your Athletic Performance with Pilates
At Perfect Balance Clinic our Physiotherapists and Rehab expert's use some Pilates based exercises to allow them to optimise athletic performance and help speed up post event recovery allowing for a speedy return to sport and athletic performance. We work with Gold Medal winning athletes as an intrinsic part of their athletic programme to help reduce injury occurrence, under the guidance of their coaches and therapists.

Benefits of Pilates 5; Improve your co-ordination in a Pilates class
When you are taught Pilates in a controlled environment you soon develop a heightened awareness of your body. Whether that be your neck, shoulders or legs, they are all used to improve your body awareness thus heightening the feedback on a neurological level to your brain and allowing for development of a better co-ordinated individual. Pilates movements should be slow and almost dance like allowing for a deeper level of interpretation by your brain and nervous system. The movements are often repeated allowing for a rehearsal of the positions, which results in better integration into normal daily movements.

Benefits of Pilates 6: Better alignment with Pilates
We often see people who are referred to Pilates after having spinal surgery. You have to wonder if some surgery could be avoided by proper spinal alignment and training of the spinal stabilising muscles. We often never get to find out. We do therefore recommend that people try at least a short course of Pilates based exercise to allow them to regain some control over their spinal musculature and develop better alignment of their spines. Classic examples of people who could do with Pilates are those with one shoulder higher than the other, or they've been told they have one leg longer than the other.

Benefits of Pilates 7: Vastly Improved Concentration with Pilates
Because Pilates is very slow, precise and controlled it is important that you concentrate lots during the sessions. This we are told improves peoples levels of concentration as they almost reach a meditative state allowing them to not only excel in Pilates but also excel in their activities of daily living.

Benefits of Pilates 8: Better Stamina Levels with Pilates
Due to the long duration of the classes and the intensity that people often work at during them, it is inevitable that stamina improves as a result of this type of training. By stressing the different energy systems in the body unlike other forms of exercise Pilates is responsible for better utilisation of oxygen in your tissues and results in a more optimal performance based on better stamina levels. Most people find their first classes difficult and ache for a few days afterwards. This is normally a 'good' ache or so we have been told, which results from the start of the adaptation process to this form of exercise.

Benefits of Pilates 9: Improved breathing with Pilates
Due largely to the type of breathing that Pilates induces, it has been reported that people gain better control of their breathing after doing Pilates sessions on a regular basis. The movements in Pilates are sequenced to allow for better control of breathing and integration with bodily movements allowing for better control and an improved awareness of their breathing state.

Benefits of Pilates 10; Pilates never stops developing
Since its early conception by Joseph Pilates in the early 20th century Pilates has evolved to encompass other forms of equipment and deliver a much more biomechanical and correct form of exercise. Pilates largely is focused on the above main principles and this has been taken on board with the newer more advanced varieties of Pilates. In its purest form Pilates was used for strengthening the mind and body, often this can be lost in classes as they are overcrowded and instructors are poorly qualified resulting in Pilates for the masses. Better results from Pilates can be gained from the smaller class sizes which encourage a more individualised approach and more intense work out. People do Pilates to get results.

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In Breathing, Energy

Travel Yoga - Revitalizing Flow

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In Anxiety Relief, Bedtime

Bedtime Yoga Sequence

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In Dreams, Excuses

8 Ways To Overcome The Excuses That Steal Your Dreams

Excuses. Fears. More excuses. What stories do you tell yourself about your dreams and goals? Why do you believe that you can’t have what you want?

Excuses are all about fear. Fear of not being capable. Fear of getting it wrong. Fear of looking stupid. Fear of success. Fear of change.

Without fear there is no excuse.

The biggest fear of all? Fear of the unknown. We want to see the big picture. We want to know that it’s going to work out.

Dreams don’t come with guarantees. They don’t come in pretty packages.

Fear of the unknown will keep you focused on what can go wrong instead of what can go right. It will keep you safe but dissatisfied and feeling powerless.

Stop with the excuses!

No more justification. No more blaming. No more alibis. No more stories. No more lies.

Create more positivity. More faith. More time. More trust. More opportunity. More meaning.

Shift your perception to what your new life might look like. Think of your life as expansive. See yourself with enough time, money and energy.

What do you tell yourself about what you want? What excuse do you have that keeps you from it? Below are some popular excuses. Decide how you can overcome each one by completing the sentences.

Excuse: I don’t have time. Get it done: In order to make time I can ________________________.

Excuse: I don’t have enough money. Get it done: I can find the money by______________________________.
Excuse: I don’t have the right connections. Get it done: I can make more connections by _______________________.

Excuse: I failed before and I can’t risk failing again. Get it done: I can regroup and try again. The lesson I learned from my failure is ____________________________________.

Excuse: I’m too old. Get it done: There is no better time than now to begin. My first step will be ___________________________________________________.

Excuse: I’m too young. Get it done: I’ll get a mentor who is older and wiser than myself. With their help I’ll ____________________________________________________.

Excuse: I’m not smart enough. Get it done: I’ll figure it out. I’ll take a course or a class in _____________________________.

Excuse: I’m bored. I’m tired. I don’t know what I want. Get it done: I’ll make a list of everything I’ve always wanted to do. _________________________________________________________.

You are here for a reason. You are here to create. If you want it badly enough, you’ll find a way.

Create good habits

Rise early. Exercise and eat healthy. Spend time in nature. Drink water. Surround yourself with people who move forward in spite of great difficulties. These good habits are like excuse repellents.
Don’t dwell on past losses
Forget about what you had. Focus on what you have and where you’re going. Tragedy, natural disaster, job loss and death are part of life. When the world as you know it changes, give yourself time to grieve. Make a plan and move forward. If you need help, find a support group.

Allow yourself to be a beginner

Try something different. Learn something brand new. Learning something new can be exhilarating. Allow things to be difficult. Challenge yourself. Study hard. Do your homework. You’ll get better. You’ll grow. You’ll cross the finish line!
Begin now What action can you take today to get one step closer to where you want to be tomorrow? Do what you don’t feel like doing. Do what you don’t think you can do. Make a plan. Your new life begins today.

Commit to your success
Decide you’re going to accomplish your goal. Have faith in yourself. Trust that others will be put on your path to lead and help you. Listen to podcasts. Read about the victories of others. When doubt creeps in, think about all of your past accomplishments.
Put yourself on the line
Allow yourself to make mistakes. You can’t succeed without failure. Give yourself 24 hours on the pity pot. Then get off. Then look for your lesson. What can you do differently the next time? Don’t worry about what others think of you. They’re focused on their own business. No time for yours!
Bust out of your comfort zone
You’ll never discover new people, joy, wonder and adventure if you live your same life year after year. Cancel your cable. Give away your recliner. Stop sitting in front of a screen and make your plan. You’ll attract unknown opportunities when you are willing to become courageous.
Appreciate how far you’ve come in life
Be grateful for everything you have. Be a generous person. Give up thoughts of scarcity and lack. Give back. Give when you don’t think you can. Help others get what they want. With gratitude, there’s no room for excuses!

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In Dark, Light

Light After Darkness: 6 Ways to Keep Going During Tough Times

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”

– Desmond Tutu

Throughout the past three years, I’ve experienced the most profound darkness in my life.

A relationship that I cared about ended.

A fragile marriage reached its breaking point and unraveled as I came to realize how little control I had over parts of my life.

I lost my partner, grew apart from my family and became increasingly isolated.

I left a legal job. Quit my career in law. And floundered around in the dark, wondering what to do next.

I gave up my permanent address. Moved around the state. Lived with friends and family between jobs.

As the storms of my life raged, I had to ask myself who I was, who I had become and where I was going.

Yes, a soul-shaking series of events had led to a turbulent life crisis.

I had to grieve, reflect, grow and adapt to the changes in my life. While the path contained uncertainty, pain and loneliness, I had to find a way to keep going. I had to find a way out.

Today, I can honestly say that I’m grateful for having experienced this period of darkness in my life.

Why?

Because the darkness has brought me to the light I see today.

I realize that my grueling and painful journey has brought me to a place of clarity and happiness.

In my darkest hour, I found myself and my purpose.

And most importantly, this place of confusion and darkness helped me understand and appreciate the light.

Are you going through turbulent times in your life? If you’re facing a breakup, divorce or failed business or frustrating career, read on to learn how you can move forward even when you can’t see any light or hope.

Here are 6 ways to navigate the darkness:

1. Get to know yourself better and be open to internal work.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor E. Frankl

Until we confront a real life-crushing event, we tend to preoccupy ourselves with external circumstances and changes.

Difficult life circumstances give us opportunities to explore our inner lives and do the internal work necessary for us to rise above our challenges. Now is the time for self-understanding and self-awareness.

It’s time to use available tools – from therapy and counseling to spirituality and journaling – to help us better understand ourselves.

Who are you? How do you manage your feelings? How can you heal your pain and let go of the past? How can you shift your perspective and become the person you’re capable of being? How do you live in the present moment?

Look for tools that offer support and healing. Reach out to people who can be there for you and lead the way.

2. Become aware of what doesn’t work.

When you hit a dark place, you receive a gift: you realize what doesn’t work.

You have more insight into yourself than you did before.

What went wrong in your relationship? What was your part in its breakup? What kind of partner is wrong for you? How do you break the cycle of seeking the wrong person as your partner?

What did you hate about the career you left? Which parts of the job were toxic? Which skills did you master and which skills did you want to continue working on? What kind of work do you find fulfilling?

Understanding what doesn’t work is as insightful as knowing what does work. Knowing the dark is critical to appreciating the light.

When you see the futility and hopelessness of a particular path or situation, your mind can create a new path and life.

Remember, as Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

3. One step at a time.

Every day of a personal crisis, breakup or serious life change will be a tough one. If you think about the enormity of the situation, you’ll feel paralyzed and want to stay in bed.

What is one small step you can take today?

How can you move your life in a positive direction in the smallest of ways?

Will you sign up for a new course? Attend a new networking event? Be open to meeting new people?

Ride your bicycle for a few minutes? Get some fresh air?

Don’t think about the global picture; take everything moment by moment.

4. Never give up on yourself.

You’re in a tough spot but you’ve been in similar places before.

You’ve gotten through rough patches and you can do it again.

Sure, your current circumstance may be more challenging than those you faced in the past, but you’ve built up your adversity muscle to deal with changes and setbacks. And you’ve done it again and again.

You believed in yourself when no one else did. You got back up. You found a new job, met someone new in your life, found a way to solve the problem at hand.

You’re a known and proven problem-solver, solution-finder and fighter.

You made it this far, even with the scars and bruises that past troubles inflicted on you. You yourself are the best proof that you’ve done it before and can do it again.

5. Appreciate the dark.

During your most difficult hour, it’s hard to sit back and exercise any amount of gratefulness.

Your heart’s throbbing, your head’s crammed with worries and you don’t know yourself anymore. Why would you ever be grateful for this?

You can learn to appreciate the situation because you are discovering the tools you’ll need to navigate in the dark. If you can keep walking toward the light, you’ll develop qualities that will help you resist life’s challenges.

When you walk in the dark, you develop the qualities of persistence, patience, discovery and navigation. Sure, you won’t know where you are, but you’ll start getting a better sense of the darkness and will eventually navigate your way around.

Your greatest gift in the dark is your newfound abilities to embrace change, persist and keep going. These skills you’ll have with you for the rest of your life.

6. The dawn is near.

Yes, the current situation is icky but it can’t stay this way for long.

I’ve found that when a person is at rock bottom, things can’t get worse. They can only improve. If you’re having the worst week or month of your life, be prepared for a positive change.

Life is like the seasons, after all. You can’t remain stuck in winter forever. Your situation will change, just like the seasons change.

You’ll find a way to move on, discover the solution or get the break you’ve been waiting for.

Don’t bask in life’s lows and dark places when light is just around the corner.

Stay hopeful for a brighter tomorrow. Stay patient if things take a little longer than expected.

As Napoleon Hill once said, “Most people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure.”

Life sometimes serves up difficult situations. You’ll feel terrified and hopeless. Helpless. Your experiences will feel pitch-black scary and lonely.

The good news is that your life won’t stay this way. You can find your way out if you stay strong and persist. You’ll not only achieve significant growth and change, you’ll come out stronger.

You’ll emerge with a newfound appreciation for where you’ve been and will learn lessons that last a lifetime.

Your darkest hours are merely a setup for your greatest days ahead.

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In Exercise, Potential

Yoga For Beginners - 40 Minute Home Yoga Workout

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In Inner critic, Mindfulness

How to Smack Down Your Inner Critic Once and For All

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Do you have an inner critic that taunts you every time you trip up?

You know, that taunting voice that erupts the second you make a mistake?

You don’t know when it started, but for as long as you can remember it’s been with you, waiting for the slightest opportunity to launch its next attack.

And while you suspect its intentions are positive — to protect you from failures — in practice all it does is make things worse.

Favorite taunts of the ruthless inner critic

I’ve been absent-minded for as long as I can remember. I have difficulty focusing on one thing for long, which often leads to silly mistakes. Like losing things.

And this is where that inner critic jumps in.

“How could you be so careless?”

“Will you ever learn?”

“How could you be so irresponsible?”

This incessant voice was truly bringing me down. It was eroding my self-esteem. Every time I forgot something, it would nag me to the point of paralysis, unable to remedy the situation.

Things came to a head and I decided that I had to find a solution. I had to silence this inner critic once and for all.

At first I tried addressing the tendency to be absent-minded by creating lists using the Getting Things Done approach. This helped me get more organized but didn’t silence the harsh critic when I did forget things albeit less frequently.

I tried meditation and that helped to calm my mind but I struggled to keep up a daily practice that lasted for much more than a few minutes each day. I’m still working on expanding the length of the daily sessions.

After a bit of research, I discovered that cultivating a mindfulness practice was very powerful. I think of it as meditation in action. This turned out to be the answer I was looking for.

Mindfulness — an antidote to the chattering monkey mind?

Mindfulness is a psychological concept. It can be defined as being consistently attentive and aware of one’s mental patterns in a non-judgmental manner.

By using the breath as an anchor the practitioner is able to step back and ‘watch’ her thoughts without identifying with them.

Every time she becomes aware that her mind has run away with her thoughts, she consistently and gently brings her focus back to her breath and resumes watching the thoughts without identifying with them.

One of the benefits of a mindfulness practice is the capacity it creates in the mind of the practitioner to objectively observe, and then change deeply ingrained mental patterns.

I spent the next few months cultivating a mindfulness practice. I would watch my thoughts using my breath as an anchor. Inevitably I’d get lost in my thoughts and I’d use my breath as an anchor to go back to ‘watching’ my thoughts.

My first big test of my mindfulness practice

A few months after starting my mindfulness practice, I found myself on a familiar mental roller coaster. My mind had been particularly unruly that morning.

At about 11am, I discovered that the remote control key to my garage at home was missing.

I felt panic! Fear!

The monkey mind is a cruel mind

The usual tirade of thoughts filled with self-blame and shame ensued. The panic-driven questions seemed so reminiscent of my (well intentioned) caregivers from during my growing years:

“How could you have been so careless?”
“Can’t you even look after one little remote?”
“You should be ashamed of yourself. Seriously.”

… On and on it went.

As the barrage continued my morale dropped.

The shame, anger and hopelessness became overwhelming. I felt that familiar pit in my stomach. My shoulders dropped into a slouch.

At this point something interesting happened.

My mindfulness practice came to the rescue

Instead of slumping into my usual state of paralysis, I went into ‘automatic mode’ and I found myself taking a deep breath.

My attention came back to my breath. The destructive thinking continued to play itself out as I watched.

I chose not to react. Instead I objectively watched my thoughts play out the painful cycle of self-blame.

This act of objectively watching showed me that I had a choice not to react. Not to believe the thoughts like I had in the past. Instead I could choose to just let them pass across my mind like clouds moving across the sky.

I could choose to stop beating myself up. Right now!

Choosing not to identify with destructive thoughts. (Detachment)

I made the obvious choice. I didn’t buy into the destructive thoughts.

Instead, I watched them as my mindfulness training had taught me. I didn’t try to push them away but I didn’t indulge them either.

The destructive thoughts slowed down. They petered out into a mumble. They no longer had any power over me.

Then silence!

A spacious mind inspires constructive action

The silence created a certain ‘spaciousness’ in the mind.

Now my mind started to think constructively.

Rationally.

Now that I had moved past the destructive thinking I was free to take constructive action — i.e. to actually look for the remote.

I decided to retrace my steps to the café that I’d been to earlier that morning. I asked the owners if they had seen the remote. They said they hadn’t. My heart sank.

For a moment the anger and self-blame started to kick in again. The thoughts started to return

“You’re never going to find the remote, it’s lost”

“You’ll have to get another one. That’s a hundred bucks! ”

I went back to my breath. I “watched” the thoughts.

Soon they dissipated.

Spaciousness.

Again.

A-Ha!

At this point it occurred to me that I hadn’t had a good look under the table where I’d been sitting.

I looked under the table … and there it was!

The little remote was wedged beneath one of the legs of the table. Nicely tucked away out of sight — only visible to someone who was actually looking for it.

How mindfulness broke my cycle of self-blame

If I hadn’t been mindful I would never have retraced my steps or gone to the café. Even if I’d gone to the café I wouldn’t have had the presence of mind to look under the table.

After having been told by the owners that they hadn’t seen the key, I would have interpreted their message as being confirmation of my underlying belief.

That I was incapable, irresponsible and that I didn’t really deserve to find my garage keys since I’d lost them.

Mindfulness brought these destructive underlying beliefs out in the open and I got to watch them play through my mind as they tried to sabotage my day. I then had the opportunity to choose not to believe them anymore.

Are You Ready to Silence Your Inner Critic?

If you choose to cultivate a consistent mindfulness practice you will be amazed with the results.

The following are some specific ways in which mindfulness will vanquish your inner critic – once and for all.

1. A strong mindfulness practice can bring destructive thought patterns out into the open. Cultivating the capacity to ‘watch’ these destructive thought patterns means you can choose not to be victimized by them. Instead, you can take constructive action.

2. If you watch your mind consistently, using your breath as an anchor, you will start to see your mind’s workings with greater clarity over time. You won’t be a victim of destructive thinking and will make better choices that lead to constructive action.

3.You don’t need to either push the thoughts away or indulge them. You just watch them as they work through their ‘life cycle’. The act of watching is extremely powerful.

Do you have an inner critic? Does it berate you and undermine you, often without you realizing it?

If you do, then just stop.

And listen to your thoughts.

I mean truly listen.

Breathe. Listen.

It all starts with one deep breath.

Why don’t you give it a try? Right now.

How has your inner critic undermined you today?

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, by MindfulMotivates

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Taking care of yourself is not selfish. Instead, it is very important if you think that you have lost yourself lately.

Negative emotions

Tardiness

Sleeping or lack of it

Doing nothing

When life feels it’s getting too much

Not enough of anything

A day off

1. Get to know yourself better and be open to internal work.

2. Become aware of what doesn’t work.

3. One step at a time.

4. Never give up on yourself.

5. Appreciate the dark.

6. The dawn is near.

Favorite taunts of the ruthless inner critic

Mindfulness — an antidote to the chattering monkey mind?

My first big test of my mindfulness practice

The monkey mind is a cruel mind

My mindfulness practice came to the rescue

Choosing not to identify with destructive thoughts. (Detachment)

A spacious mind inspires constructive action

A-Ha!

How mindfulness broke my cycle of self-blame

Are You Ready to Silence Your Inner Critic?

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