"I feel like I'm no good. Like I'm just damaged goods. I can't even put my finger on it. It's just like I feel... unworthy. I feel see-through, as if people are going to look right into me... and hate what they find..

When I asked Susan how she would describe herself I could see the pain playing around her eyes. She bit her lip and her voice dropped to a barely audible whisper. The grown woman before me sounded like a frightened little girl.

"I'm cowardly, ugly, fat, useless, stupid, and selfish."

Susan's description of herself couldn't have been further from the way I saw her. I wondered what mix of experience had gone into creating such a poor self-image. After all, much of what she'd told me about her life showed me she'd been brave, not cowardly. She wasn't fat or ugly, not through my objective eyes. And, far from being useless, she was articulate, intelligent, and had achieved a lot in her life.

Like many people with a poor self-image, Susan was fair and reasonable when it came to other people, but reserved a special corner of mental hell for herself.

So where had Susan's self-image issues come from?

I learned that Susan had been harshly criticized by her mum and dad as a child. They had wanted the best for her, but instead of encouragement they had heaped criticism upon her.

"Clever girls don't do that!"

"If you dress like that no man will ever want you."

"Why can't you be more like your sister!"

Often our criticisms of ourselves come from other people's criticisms of us. It feelslike we are criticizing ourselves but actually we have just adopted other people's condemnations of us - usually at such a deep level that we can't tell the difference.

When I asked Susan whose 'voice' it was when she was criticizing herself, it took some careful thought before she told me it was a mixture of both her parents. She'd taken up the criticism baton from them and had been running hard with it ever since.

To some extent we all learn to compare ourselves to others: to build, almost without realising it, a self-image. But what is self-image, exactly?

"She has a prettier nose than me!"

But how did you come to be a 'specimen'? An object to be compared, assessed, praised, or criticised and found wanting?

We're born into the world beautifully unselfconscious. We have an 'I' of pure awareness, in which the self as an object hasn't yet formed in our minds. But, bit by bit, we learn to view ourselves as we imagine others see us. We learn to compare ourselves not just to others, but to our imagined idea of how we should be.

How do we compare?

"I'm 35; I should have my own place to live."

Even when we compare ourselves favourably to other people, the fact that we are comparing ourselves at all leaves us vulnerable because one day we might find we don't compare as well as we used to.

And if we tend towards perfectionism - an unachievable goal - then we can never be good enough. And we fall into a trap of our own making.

'Comparanoia' - living your life through the lens of the people around you - causes pain. It embitters us, and it tears us to tatters if we let it.

Worrying how we're doing, how we look, and how we seem to others shrinks and spoils the life-expanding spontaneity that we once knew, way back when we hadn't yet learned to objectify ourselves in this way.

I know people who even compare themselves to those lucky few who don't seem to compare themselves to others: "I wish I could be free and not care so much what people think."

More often than not, people who chronically compare themselves are aware on some level that they're doing it. They might say, "Yes, I know I've got to learn to think differently." But in a way, just trying to think differently to improve self-image is putting the cart before the horse.

It wasn't that Susan believed logically that she compared unfavourably with others or that she really was fat, or ugly, or useless. Logically she knew that it shouldn't matter if she wasn't as slim as a supermodel or as rich as a CEO.

But this kind of painful self-image has little to do with thoughts and everything to do with feelings. To help Susan be as fair and kind to herself as she was to others, I had to put her thoughts aside and focus on appealing to her feelings.

Feelings are more powerful than thoughts (because emotions are the tools we use to survive), and that's why it's actually easier to change feelings in order to naturally change thoughts than the other way around. Susan had tried positive thinking, but had just felt guilty for not being positive enough.

Here's what I did for Susan, and it can help you too.

Learning to view yourself 'from the outside' - that is, calmly and objectively - lets you appraise yourself not through the distortions of fear or narcissism, but through calm, fair, and objective assessment. We don't have to believe we are as beautiful as Jennifer Hawkins or as rich as Richard Branson. We just have to objectively understand and accept that everyone is different, and be calm and objective about that rather than tormented. I helped Susan relax deeply into a beautiful hypnotic trance and used an approach called 'The Helping Hand Technique'.

I helped her to first build up a sense of her self-worth and life wisdom by focusing on what she had learned throughout her life. Then, when she felt fully associated with her resources and strengths, I encouraged her to hypnotically help her younger self as if that younger self was someone else.

When she came out of trance, she found that her memories of being criticised and bullied as a child, though still hurtful, no longer affected how she felt about herself now. This was the first step in undoing the negative conditioning from her past. I was helping her to change her feelings about herself so that her thoughts - her self-image - could naturally and easy update, modify, and change.

Improving self-image isn't about trying to force yourself to switch from negative to positive, it's simply about gaining more self-objectivity. Seeing yourself calmly 'from the outside'. But that's only the first step.

Feeling we have to be perfect is an imperfect way of travelling through life. It's easy to compare ourselves to some kind of impossible sense of who we imagine we should be, or to a person or people we have deemed 'perfect'.

There is always going to be someone richer, more classically beautiful, more 'successful' - whatever that means. More, more, more. But there are also millions who will always have less of some of your attributes. We all need to try not to compare ourselves to others- but you will slip, and when you do, at least make it a fair comparison. Be careful whom you compare yourself to.

But even then, are we actually comparing ourselves to who other people really are, or who we imagine they are?

It's so easy to look at someone and think they have everything. But they may be looking at us feeling the same thing. Even the most beautiful, witty, clever people have their own inner doubts. After all, nothing is forever. Beauty fades, bodies fail, relationships end, money runs out. Nobody has everything.

One final way we can harness the understanding that self-image stems from feelings rather than logic is through metaphor. Here's how I used this with Susan.

"It was like I was trying to con myself or something, because although I was trying to think good things about myself inside, I just didn't feel that way."

That's how Susan described her attempts to try to improve her self-image just by trying to think more positively. I explained to her that there are more connections leading from the emotional parts of the mind to the thinking parts than the other way around, which is why trying to change feelings by changing thoughts can be so hard.

Every time I would try to challenge Susan's negative self-image, she would argue with me. Not that I was surprised. Negative self-image is resistant to direct disconfirming feedback, which may even make someone cling more tightly to their painful self-image. That's why metaphor is so useful. Metaphor is an indirect way of communicating with the powerful unconscious mind - the part that actually produces the horrible feelings of inadequacy in the first place.

I took Susan into hypnosis, and I told her metaphorical stories. In this deep state of relaxation, her feelings could calm and adjust, making it natural and easy for her to think in healthier ways. Here's one story I told her that really did seem to have an immediate effect - and it may well help you too.

In a dark castle lived a princess who had never seen her own reflection. She'd been locked up for her whole life, until one day found that the door to her palace dungeon had accidentally been left open. Amazed, she stepped free for the first time ever. She walked outside and down to a shimmery lake - another thing she had never seen before. With wonder, she peered into the lake and, for the very first time, saw her own reflection. But it was stormy, the wind was whipping the water, and her reflection was fractured and warped.

Naturally, the princess believed this was how she really was, how she really looked. Jagged. Distorted. Ugly. She began to cry at the 'true nature' of herself. Then a serene elderly lady quietly approached her with a kind smile and warm, understanding eyes. The lady comforted the princess and, as she gently reassured her, the warping wind calmed. Almost instantly, the surface of the lake became even and calm. The sun emerged, and everything felt gentle and peaceful once more. After a moment, the old lady encouraged the princess to observe herself again in the reflection of the now calm lake.

With everything - the elements, her mind, and the very atmosphere - calm and balanced, she now saw herself as she truly was and started to come to know herself.

You can tell yourself how awesome you are until you're blue in the face, but this is not the path to restoring healthy self- image. Calm self-observation is the first step to seeing yourself as you are meant to be seen. As you really are. Not perfect, not terrible - but worthy of respect, and full of potential above and beyond what yourself or others may have said or thought.

Over the coming weeks we worked on removing the emotional charge from Susan's most troublesome memories so they no longer coloured and dictated her feelings or thoughts about herself. We worked on strategies to help her meet her emotional needs. And she began to use her mind to heal, not hate herself.

We helped her recognise, not as just an idea but as a felt reality, her attributes, her beauty, and her array of potentials. She began to respect herself not because it was something she should do, but as a natural consequence of her newly developed calm after overcoming past harsh conditioning.

Toward the end of our time together, long after I'd assumed she'd forgotten the story I'd told her at the start, Susan looked at me and said:

"I am the freed princess, aren't I."

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Sending positive thoughts to all you shiny people out there!!

Miracles are your responsibility!

What does that mean?

Simple…

You have a responsibility to create miracles in

your own life. The responsibility lies on your shoulders.

You cannot blame anyone else,and you can’t look outside

of yourself for someone else to create the miracles for you.

In this article, I’m going to break down the word “Miracle”,

because each of you have a responsibility.

As you read this today, my goal is for you to take

responsibility and realise that you have the innate

ability to create miracles.

So let’s get started!

The letter “M” means Momentum, which is created by

you. You must create Momentum in your life for

yourself, for your Why, for your family, for your

success, for your finances, for your health…

YOU create Momentum!

No one else will do it for you. You aren’t a surfer

waiting for the next wave to come in. You and only

you must create your own Momentum to drive you toward

creating your Miracle!

The letter “I” stands for Incentive. You must have

something inciting you to action…your ultimate “Why”.

Why are you doing what you are doing? Why do you want

to begin that business? An Incentive builds the foundation

that keeps you focused on your Miracle. No doubt about it!

But again, it is your responsibility to determine what

your incentive is and how it

will drive you toward your Miracle.

The letter “R” stands for Revelation. As you read

this today, get a Revelation! It’s your responsibility…

no one else’s. It doesn’t matter who you are, where

you came from, how much money you have…

get a Revelation. YOU can and will create Miracles!!!

The letter “A” stands for Action. I know you’ve heard

this before, but read this today, print it out and decide

that you are going to take Action to create Miracles.

Once again, no one will do it for you! Take the Action

that you know that you need to take to create your Miracle.

The letter “C” stands for Commitment. Finally…once

and for all…dive right into it…get Committed to your

Miracle! It’s your responsibility.

Inside you is a reason for why you are here…your Miracle…

so Commit to it.

Go for it!

The letter “L” stands for Love. You must Love

what you do. You must Love the Miracle that you

are focused on creating. If your Miracle is all

about money…you will fail! Your Miracle cannot be

based on money. Your Miracle must be based on what

you can do to impact the world, which will produce

everlasting results.

You will produce true Miracles! Don’t let anyone

else tell you what you must do for money. Love

what you do and create your own Miracles.

The letter “E” stands for Energy. Your gonna need

Energy to create your Miracle. There’s no such thing

as it “falling in your lap”, “luck” or “winning the lotto”

in a success mindset. It takes hard work! You need

the Energy to take those daily action steps to create

your Miracle.

Again, it is your responsibility to maintain your Energy

to create your Miracle.

Miracle…It’s your responsibility!

Creating 1,000 Millionaires One at a Time!

Are you next?

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Energy-boosting super foods are a quick and easy way to cleanse your body of all those sins and kick-start your metabolism into burning fat, fast. We know it's not rocket science to eat less processed food and stock up on healthy fruit and veg, but there are certain tasty treats that can give you an additional super-boost. Thankfully, they're all tasty, filling and wholesome enough to deserve a spot in your kitchen cupboard. So look through our top 11 super-foods that'll kill your diet crash and start you feeling energised again:

Brown rice

It might take a bit longer to cook than the white stuff, but brown rice is so much better for you. Not only will it make you feel full for longer, but it's also brilliant for those suffering from stress or digestive problems.

Yes, yes, we know you think it makes you bloated, but many 'wheat-intolerant' people are actually reacting to the pesticide residues left over from farming methods rather than the wheat itself. Try wholewheat bread and rolls made from organically grown wheat and your sarnies will suddenly seem a whole lot more tasty.

Oats

No wonder we're always been told to eat porridge for breakfast, oats are high in calcium, potassium, magnesium, vitamin E, B vitamins, protein and more. As well as helping improve your skin, they are brilliant for those suffering from stress and tiredness.

Broccoli

Much talked about for its cancer-fighting qualities, broccoli is also a great energy provider (as well as being stuffed with fibre, folate, vitamins A and C, potassium, B2, um? shall I go on?).

Lentils

They're cheap, colourful and a brilliant kitchen staple, unfortunately us Brits don't eat nearly enough. Just for once, forgo your regular pasta and cook a pan of these instead - your energy levels will thank you for it.

Sesame seeds

It's easy to add sesame seeds to your diet: simply choose the bagel or French stick at the supermarket which already comes topped with them. Alternatively, sprinkle them on your morning muesli or tuck into a dessert of halvah; made from pounded sesame seeds and honey, it's said to enhance sexual vigour and vitality!

Spinach

Popeye didn't eat tins of the green stuff for nothing, packed with iron, it's best eaten raw in salads as cooking it can make the iron harder for the body to absorb.

Sprouted seeds

The most live, pure, nutritious food imaginable, sprouted seeds are cheap and easy to grow yourself or, these days, can also be bought from most supermarkets. Add them to sandwiches, salads and stir-frys.

Apricots

For a natural sugar boost, munch on a handful of apricots. Whether dried or fresh, you'll feel immediate benefits. 

Walnuts

Full of potassium, protein, zinc and iron, walnuts are a great energy resource. Eat them in salads or, if you must, atop a cheeky walnut whip.

Almonds

When you're feeling lethargic, pop a few of these in your mouth - they'll see through more than just your early morning meetings.

Habits get a bum rap. When you think about your habits, I bet you think

of the “bad” ones – the ones that you aren’t particularly proud of, like

eating

too much sugar, or smoking, or dwelling on your negative thoughts. According

to Webster’s dictionary a habit simply is: A pattern or action that is

acquired

and has become so automatic that it is difficult to break.

It’s easy to see how if you start a behavior, and continue to reinforce it,

it

quickly becomes a habit. The pint of Ben and Jerry’s after dinner, playing

Free Cell when you should be making calls, or always leaping to a negative

conclusion when something happens. Once habits are formed, they can be

hard to break, correct?

Get ready for a new perspective – habits can be good! What if, instead of

relating to your habit as a problem, you were able to use your habits

creatively

to help you be more successful? Since habits are a natural part of our human

experience (for better or worse), learning to capitalize on your innate

ability to

form positive patterns can mean a very successful life and business.

Here are 5 habits that successful entrepreneurs can learn to develop.

1. Build resilience. You don’t need me to tell you – part of what goes with

the territory when you’re self-employed is the incessant up and down of

sales and cash flow. This is probably the number one stress producer for

entrepreneurs.

Building the habit of resilience will help you to elegantly weather the

unavoidable ups and downs. You build resilience by building your reserves.

Some examples of reserves are cash, (having 6-9 months of savings in the

bank)

self-esteem (plenty of positive regard for yourself) or confidence (feeling

like an

expert in your field).

What creates the most worry for you when faced with a stressor in your

business? Focus on building a reserve of what ever will counter your number

one stressor.

2. Become a passion junkie. Passion is an emotion – it’s a feeling of

excitement and intensity. It arises when you recognize something that

authentically resounds in your being, and is a result of love and affinity.

You know when you feel it and you know when it’s missing.

Unfortunately, many people have developed the default habit of

connecting with the emotion of fear instead. Fear (unless a polar bear

is chasing you) fuels negative thinking and always results in stress.

How do you connect with your passion? How can you begin to disqualify

the fear-based thoughts that want to hog the road (of your mind)? Once

you discover your passion, or remember it, taking active steps to stay

connected to it will begin a new practice and encourage the passion

habit in your life.

3. Be authentic. According to psychologist, Abraham Maslow, “Authenticity

is the reduction of phoniness toward the zero point.” Strive to be honest

in

your personal and professional dealings so your behavior and speech are a

true and spontaneous expression of your inner self. Live in a way that

expresses

your real vision, values and characteristics.

Do you know who you truly are? By knowing yourself first, you will develop

the habit of authenticity. What you put into the world will begin to be

congruent with what you receive back from the world.

4. Work smarter not harder. If you’re not careful, working hard can

deteriorate into an exhausting habit, rather than an expression of an

ethic. Often what drives and motivates entrepreneurs is the desire for

success, but the pursuit of success often comes with mental baggage

that can undermine it.

What are the mental “tapes” that cycle through your thought stream to

undermine you? “I’ve got to work hard and prove myself”; “If I don’t do it

myself, it won’t get done” or perhaps, “If I could just put in more time,

I’d get it all done”. Begin to build the habit of working smarter not

harder.

Counter the disempowering messages with some practical actions that

put your business more on autopilot. Improve your systems, take the

time to plan, and delegate.

5. Practice generosity. The international business networking organization,

BNI’s motto is “Givers Gain”. The premise is – more will come back to you

if you focus on generously giving to your business network, and your

customers.

Giving, providing value, or offering superlative customer service is an

attractive attribute and positive habit to develop. Tim Sanders, author

of “Love Is The Killer App” articulates this business idea as, “the act

of intelligently and sensibly sharing your intangibles with your business

partners”. This value can drive your business and your life up as far as

you want it to go. What intangibles do you have to offer your world?

What shift in your success and happiness do you see possible by

focusing on giving rather than gaining?

If creating a habit is as easy as starting a behavior, and then repeating

it (practice), consider the positive and powerful habits you could begin to

form in your life and business, starting today! Going back to Webster’s

definition, a positive habit would be equally hard to break.

Wouldn’t that be nice for a change?

It’s YOUR life. Live it completely!

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Have you ever encountered Tony Robbins before?

2. Map out your plans. Some people do manage to get their goals without planning how they will achieve them, but most people require plans and calendars to help them get closer and closer to their dream. Figure out what you want, they figure out how you will get it.

4. Get rid of excuses. There are too many excuses that people can make just so that they don't get things done. Push aside or remove those excuses and go right on through to your goal. It's much easier and faster than it would be without excuses, anyways.

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