Transformations and overnight successes are common, especially in the
online world. We see them all the time: blueprints, roadmaps, and
quick-fixes to success.
We forget that there’s no one-size-fits-all path.
We live in a world of over-promising that has a negative impact on
our confidence and ability to pursue what’s important to us in life.
The problem with stories of overnight success is that is we don’t
often hear about what had to happen to get there, and we almost never
hear about the effort involved to reach the successes.
We only see the result, which if you’ve tried and failed in previous
attempts to change, only serves to trigger self-recrimination and
judgment.
So how do we get there from here?
When you make a promise to yourself, it always comes from a desire to change.
The truth is that change is what most of us want, but we deny that we want it.
Maybe you think you should be more accepting of what is instead of focused on what is not, i.e. your desired outcome.
But change is natural and to resist it is…well, kind of crazy.
“Every single thing changes and is changing always in this world.” – Saigyo
Always in flux, nature is the greatest example of change.
A few years ago we had a violent storm in Vancouver that included
howling winds, power outages, and massive damage to our beloved park in
the heart of the city. About a week after the storm, we drove through
the park and I cried at the loss of so many trees. Yet, driving through
the park now, I can hardly tell that anything had happened, and what was
once chaos is again beautiful.
Change. From something that was, to something that different, and new.
At the time however, the media focused on the destruction and
judgment of what had happened. That judgment was human and had nothing
to do with what had actually occurred in nature.
The same thing happens in our minds when we desire to change, and make a promise to ourselves to do so.
The problem isn’t that we want change; the problem is that we judge ourselves harshly when we fail to change the way we want.
This judgment creates a vicious cycle; an endless loop of
disappointment and self-recrimination that colours any future attempt to
change, sabotaging our promises in an instant.
When we really want to make a change, but feel defeated before we
begin, is it possible to fulfill a promise we make to ourselves?
Is it possible to change when we don’t understand how change really works?
How Does Change Work?
Change is too often thought of as a dramatic shift, i.e. from unhealthy to healthy, from debt to riches.
We’re led to believe that if we’re given the right kind of training,
information or education, change will be quick and inevitable.
Except if this belief were true, many industries (weight loss for example) would cease to exist, and sadly that’s not the case.
In Changing for Good,
Dr. James Prochaska found (after working with thousands of patients)
that there are natural steps we all go through when making changes in
our lives.
Since a promise is creating a change in the future, this is a good place to begin.
It doesn’t matter what area of life you choose, we go through these
stages every time we declare a desire to change, every time you make a
promise to yourself.
Unless you understand how it goes, the cycle will keep undermining your ability to keep your promise.
This points to the fundamental truth that the process of change is seldom a straight path.
That’s why the 100 Day Promise is effective.
You’ll walk that path armed with tools and strategies, in a loving and supportive community.
